The show was very well done, and it really got me thinking: What would I do if faced with the same life experience? And how much of a child's identity is based on what they see? Obviously, I am not the first person to ask this question. Because of my educational background, I am all too familiar with the Nature vs. Nurture debate in the field of developmental psychology. In fact, I did research on facets of this debate both as an undergraduate and graduate student. However, now that Layla is moving from baby to little girl, along with the recent release of Peggy Orenstein's Cinderella Ate My Daughter, I have been much more aware of what kind of a role model I am to my daughter.
Not twelve hours after watching the show, Layla and I were getting ready to go out for the day. We got dressed and I was putting on makeup. If you have young children, you know how hard it is to get yourself ready and out the door in a timely fashion. I usually try to give Layla something to occupy her for a few minutes while I brush my hair, get dressed etc. Today, I gave her a few tightly closed items from my makeup bag. As I was getting ready to leave my room, I noticed how quiet she was. I peeked into Layla's room and this is what I saw:
Holy cow! Am I raising a beauty obsessed diva? Did I buy gender neutral toys and clothes for nothing? Should I throw away her dolls and stuffed animals and replace them with trucks and trains? Clearly not. But I can't help but wonder if I am already placing my daughter in a neat little box (a pink, frilly box at that) marked GIRL.
I would love to know what other people think about gender stereotypes. How do we avoid the labeling of our kids? How does this extend beyond the issue of gender? And what are the long reaching effects not just on individuals, but on our children's entire generation? Leave me comments, please! I'd love to start a discussion.
For more information on Lisa Ling's documentary: Our America
For more information on Peggy Orenstein's book: Cinderella Ate My Daughter
Great post! I often wonder the impact of the over exposure to the Disney princesses. At 3 years old, Avery owns quite a few dress-up gowns complete with “glass” slippers and tiaras. I find that the princesses are hard to be avoided when you are shopping for a preschooler. For example, when Avery needed a sleeping bag for school, our options were Disney’s princesses (clearly the girl choice), Disney’s Cars (the boy option) or an expensive real sleeping bag made for camping out doors. Tinker bell it was. Other things soon followed. When she started using the potty regularly and was told she could pick out any big girl underwear that she wanted – the princess were the only option in her eyes, despite my pushing for the pretty butterflies. At the book store, she seems programmed to gravitate towards princess books. I don’t believe any of this is a result of us pushing these things on her. If anything, we try to steer her towards other options and choices. But more and more I feel that it is very hard to avoid these things.
ReplyDeleteThankfully, we have recently begun to notice a shift. Our house is currently all about Toy Story now. Her new hero is Jesse the cowgirl who made her debut in Toy Story 2. In fact she is already dictating to all in our house which Toy Story character we will each be for Halloween this year (I get to be Mrs. Potato Head in case you were wondering).
So while I’m still not happy with the new obsession with Toy Story (yes, we’ve been sucked in by yet another Disney marketing ploy) for some reason I feel a bit relieved to have moved away from the princesses. Sure we still dress up in princess clothes from time to time and read the princess books, but I am very happy she’s taken an interest in other characters as well.
Aedan, at 19 months, equally enjoys all things Toy Story. What is interesting is his clear disinterest in the princess movies. He also shows very little interest in his sister’s dolls. Is this simply because we have chosen to surround him with trucks and trains? Part of me feel the answer is no. He is equally surrounded by his sister’s toys, yet he shows a preference for playing with toys he can line up and crash into things. Hmmm. I just don’t know.