A Discussion of Gender

Yesterday afternoon, I just happened to catch the end of Oprah, which previewed Lisa Ling's new documentary "Our America", which airs on the OWN network on Tuesdays at 10/9c.   The short clip drew me in, so I watched the whole episode.  This week featured Transgendered individuals.  I was struck by six-and-a-half year old Hailey's story.  Hailey is an adorable little girl with dark eyes and dimpled cheeks who, for all intents and purposes, is male.  Hailey was born "Harry", yet knew from a very early age (toddlerhood, according to her parents) that she was a girl.  I need to commend Hailey's parents for their phenomenal, apparently effortless parenting of a child who doesn't fit into the societal norm.

The show was very well done, and it really got me thinking: What would I do if faced with the same life experience? And how much of a child's identity is based on what they see? Obviously, I am not the first person to ask this question.  Because of my educational background, I am all too familiar with the Nature vs. Nurture debate in the field of developmental psychology.  In fact, I did research on facets of this debate both as an undergraduate and graduate student.  However, now that Layla is moving from baby to little girl, along with the recent release of Peggy Orenstein's Cinderella Ate My Daughter, I have been much more aware of what kind of a role model I am to my daughter.

Not twelve hours after watching the show, Layla and I were getting ready to go out for the day.  We got dressed and I was putting on makeup.  If you have young children, you know how hard it is to get yourself ready and out the door in a timely fashion.  I usually try to give Layla something to occupy her for a few minutes while I brush my hair, get dressed etc.  Today, I gave her a few tightly closed items from my makeup bag.  As I was getting ready to leave my room, I noticed how quiet she was.  I peeked into Layla's room and this is what I saw:

Holy cow! Am I raising a beauty obsessed diva? Did I buy gender neutral toys and clothes for nothing? Should I throw away her dolls and stuffed animals and replace them with trucks and trains? Clearly not.  But I can't help but wonder if I am already placing my daughter in a neat little box (a pink, frilly box at that) marked GIRL. 

I would love to know what other people think about gender stereotypes.  How do we avoid the labeling of our kids? How does this extend beyond the issue of gender? And what are the long reaching effects not just on individuals, but on our children's entire generation? Leave me comments, please! I'd love to start a discussion.

 For more information on Lisa Ling's documentary: Our America

For more information on Peggy Orenstein's book: Cinderella Ate My Daughter

February

The first half of February is a blur, probably because we've only slept a total of a few dozen hours, thanks to Layla teething.  Here's a recap of what we've been up to:

Layla said bye-bye to her crib and got a Big Girl Bed! We are so proud of our big girl!

For her reward for sleeping in her bed for the first time, we had a tea party! Layla loves playing with my teapots, so she was thrilled when she got her own.

On Valentine's Day, Layla made pictures with sponge painted hearts.  Then we used a few of her pictures as our tablecloth.  For dinner, we made heart shaped whole wheat pizzas with soy cheese.  For dessert, we made Banana Berry smoothies (with spinach and peas....shhh!).  Can you tell my her smile that she liked it?

We made Daddy a card - I got this idea from Sprout Online.  It's the ASL sign for "I Love You"

After Layla went to sleep, Monte and I had dinner and some champagne.  A nice treat for a Monday night!

These are the beautiful roses that I got from my Valentine. 

And here's just a silly picture of Layla with her doll's clothes on her head.  

Hopefully, the tooth fairy will come and give Layla her teeth so we can all get some sleep!

The Best Meal I Ever Made

There is something about snow days that makes me want to cook! So after the latest storm dumped 15+ inches in our area, I headed to the kitchen.  One of the best things about cooking, as opposed to baking, is the fact that you seldom need a recipe.  Often, I apply this philosophy to my baking adventures, with disastrous consequences.  But on Wednesday I made the EASIEST AND MOST DELICIOUS MEAL I HAVE EVER MADE! 

Sunflower seed butter has become a staple in my kitchen.  It satisfies my peanut butter cravings (it has a surprisingly similar taste) and provides Layla with the fat and protein that is hard to get due to her allergies and pickiness.

Here is my Asian-inspired recipe:

Orange-Soy Drumsticks:

Combine 1 cup of sugar with 1/2 cup of soy sauce (I used a low sodium soy sauce) 1/2 cup of orange juice and 1 tsp of garlic powder.  Place drumsticks in a greased baking pan.  Pour marinade over drumsticks and bake in a 425 degree oven for 30 minutes.  Lower oven temperature to 350 degrees, turn chicken and bake an additional 30 minutes.

Linguine with Sunflower Seed Butter Sauce:

Cook linguine according to package's instructions.   Place shredded carrots in colander and pour pasta over to gently steam.  In a bowl, toss carrots and pasta with 1/4 cup sunflower seed butter and 1/4 cup of soy sauce.  Top with scallions and serve!  This would be delicious with a salad tossed with sesame ginger dressing and mandarin orange slices.



Layla loved this dish and even had seconds!

A Rough Week

I am laughing while reading the first line of my post from last week.  When I said that I like spending time with my family on Sundays, I honestly didn't mean in the emergency room, but that's exactly where were were this Sunday.  During her nap, Layla fell out of her crib.  Neither my husband nor myself saw it.  We just heard her crying and when we opened the door, she was sitting on the floor.  To make a long, horrible story short, it was apparent that she hurt her eye so we went to JFK Hospital in Edison, where we had an extremely negative experience.  It was so bad, in fact, that I have filed a complaint with their Patient Relations department and Monte and I are in the process of writing a letter to the hospital president and several local newspapers.  Layla is fine, though, and that's all that matters. 

                                                                             Poor Baby

We purchased a crib tent to keep our little monkey safe, but despite the product description saying that it fits standard cribs and sleigh cribs, after trying it out, we've decided to return it.  It did look cute, though!

For the time being, Layla is sleeping in the Graco play pen.  I don't think she's ready for a toddler bed.  Actually, I don't think I'M ready for her to be in a toddler bed.  We have a bit more child-proofing to do before we reach that milestone!  Layla learned how to turn doorknobs and open doors and also how to press POWER - TV - ON on the remotes.  We're in trouble. 

I have been sick for the past two weeks, and the weather hasn't been great, so we're trying to entertain ourselves at home.  This week, Layla and I made cereal necklaces! I was surprised by her dexterity - she was able to thread the cereal on lanyard, which I chose because it's easy to grasp. 

Layla ate all of the cereal in one sitting!

We also tried fingerpainting for the first time.  I let her paint in the bathroom so she could immediately go in the tub afterwards. Layla liked squishing the paint, but was ready to wash it off quickly.    The whole activity took about three and a half minutes :)

It's not a painting experience without trying to taste each color once...

I think she had more fun washing the paint off of her body.

Layla's Masterpiece

Imagine That!

On Sundays, I usually like to try to find something new to do or a new place to go as a family.  Yesterday, we went to Imagine That! Children's Museum in Florham Park, NJ.  We took a nice drive and Layla napped in the car, which was a good thing because then she played hard for two hours straight! If you have never been there, Imagine That! is a hands-on museum geared for children ages 2-6.  The place is set up as a series of dramatic play areas, such as a news station, dance studio, veterinarian's office, doctor's office, dentist office, post office, sand castle and playground, to name a few.  Layla had a blast exploring each area!  My pictures came out kinda blurry (I really, REALLY want a nice camera, but it'll have to wait).  Anyway, here's some shots of the day.

Painting a picture in the art studio

Banging the gong in the music room

Grocery shopping, just like daddy!

Driving the fire truck

Taking care of babies in the house

Breaking for lunch

Exploring the inside of the pirate ship

Layla found a balloon!

Playing with ducks

Tap dancing in the dance studio

We had such a great time at Imagine That! It was a great thing to do as a family, especially on a cold winter day.  Monte had a good time, too.  His favorite part of the day, though, was when we went to see the Jets Training Center on the way home, which was only 5 minutes away!

Chocolate!

Layla was eating strawberries for dessert the other day, and I decided to let her try dipping them in chocolate syrup.  Well, she liked the chocolate so much that when she was done with the strawberries, she dipped banana slices in chocolate...then the rest of her green beans....and chicken....and pasta. What a silly girl.  At least I know she wasn't switched at birth - I love chocolate!

Happy 2011!

Happy New Year! We're only a week into 2011, but it's already been an exciting and busy year.  On New Year's Eve, Monte and I went ice skating at an outdoor rink near our house.  Although neither of us had skated in years, we did pretty good!

We rang in the new year with a movie, a kiss and bedtime.  I wouldn't have it any other way.  New Year's Day was spent with family at my parent's house.  We made pizza and played games. 

This week, I submitted the final draft of my article for publication.  I had a job interview for per diem work and I was hired on the spot! And I took a Bikram Yoga class with  my cousin, Devon, and I LOVED it.  I want to make some changes this year, including making more time for myself and also not worrying about the little things.  I think I'm off to a good start!